


Broken

by OnTheTurningAway



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, Rough Sex, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-10
Updated: 2011-03-10
Packaged: 2017-10-30 10:18:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheTurningAway/pseuds/OnTheTurningAway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the night of Edward and Bella's wedding, Seth learns there is no escaping a broken heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> ***Warning for consensual underage sex (16/15)*** Written for the first round of the No Stress Love Fest on LiveJournal.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta [ArcadianMaggie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcadianMaggie/pseuds/ArcadianMaggie), and to rmhale and TuesdayMidnight for previewing.
> 
> Disclaimer: No profit was made from the writing of this story. All creative rights to the characters and recognizable elements belong to their original creator(s) and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

\---

  
  
It seemed like forever ago that I'd worshiped the ground Jake walked on, hanging on to his every word and craving even the most fleeting moment of his attention.  The irony in the fact that I used to follow him around like a puppy was not lost on me.  I tried to convince myself that it was because we grew up together like brothers, and then later because we'd both lost a parent, but deep down I knew exactly why.  It was pretty simple, once I admitted I was attracted to boys.

Jake was the first person I ever fantasized about, the first boy I ever _wanted_.  He wasn't my first love, though.  That title was unfortunately owned by Edward Cullen.

I'd known from the beginning that I had no chance of a future with Edward, but that didn't stop me from falling in love with him.  He knew, of course.  There was no way I could keep such intense, overwhelming thoughts from him, especially since he could read my mind.  He was easy to love - kind, loyal and the first person to treat me as someone other than 'young Seth Clearwater'.  When he tried to console me about my feelings, I brushed him off, telling him that there was no point in talking about something that was never going to change.  I knew Edward wanted to say more, but he didn't push, letting me hold on to a tiny shred of my pride. 

I somehow managed to hide it from most of the pack, though.  If they had caught on, no one ever said anything, but I couldn't fool Jake.  Jake knew because the way that I looked at Edward was the same way I used to look at him.  Except with Edward, it was so much more intense.

When I approached Edward and Bella after the ceremony and wished them well, I meant what I said.  If any couple deserved happiness, it was those two, even if my heart was breaking.  Edward was as kind as ever, allowing me to wrap my arms around him briefly, before pulling away and giving me a sympathetic smile.  I was grateful that so many others were waiting to greet the newlyweds.  It allowed me to slip away with a casual wave and a forced smile, even though my teeth were clenched so tightly I thought they might break.

I wanted to do the grown-up thing and accept the situation, to make peace with the fact that Edward was forever Bella's and would never be mine.  But then Jake showed up and everything went to hell.  It was all I could do to drag him away before he hurt Bella or started a war with the Cullens. With _Edward_.  As soon as we were out of sight, Jake burst into wolf form and fled deep into the forest.  I told Sam to leave Jake to me, then shifted and raced after Jake before he could respond.

My paws thundered over familiar terrain as I chased after him, following his thoughts and scent.  I found him where the woods met the cliffs and land dropped off to the sea.  He was slumped next to a tree, his normally rich russet fur matted and lackluster even as rays of sun peeked through the clouds.  Sensing my approach, he turned and snarled, snapping his powerful jaws in my direction.  Between the recent sleepless nights, my heartbreak and the run, I was too exhausted to do anything.  I knew he wouldn't hurt me even though he was desperate to do _something_.  

Jake's pain was my pain.  I knew what it was like to care so deeply about someone who could never feel the same in return.  I knew how painful it was to want something so badly that it consumed my every thought, but to have to put on a brave face so no one would see how much I was hurting.  Everyone saw me as happy-go-lucky Seth, but underneath it all, I was just like Jake.  We both pined for something that would never be.  I was just better at hiding it.  
   
Jake stared at me as we tried to calm our panting breaths.  I let him see that I was in pain too.  The wildness in his eyes faded first to confusion and then to understanding.  While Jake might have known that I wanted Edward physically, he'd apparently never fully grasped the depth of my feelings.  I took a few steps forward, my paws crushing newly fallen leaves into the damp earth, and closed the distance between us.  I knew we needed something to distract us from our heartbreak, to make us feel good, even just for a few minutes.

I was only fifteen, and had few experiences that truly made me happy, so I did the only thing I could think of.  Even though it hurt, I recounted every thought I could about Edward and how I'd fallen for him.  Opening my thoughts to Jake completely, I shared my memories of nights spent with my hand under my blankets, fist sticky as I quietly called out Edward's name.  When he growled at me, I showed Jake more.  My recollections became images of my slightly younger self sneaking looks at Jake every chance I got, and feeling awkward but excited to be in his presence.  I showed him how I used to ogle him when he and the other guys walked around without their shirts.  How I'd hurry home afterward to jerk off and slide soapy fingers inside myself in the shower.  How I'd whisper his name when I came, afraid mom would hear me through the thin door and figure out what I was doing.

Image after image flashed through my mind as I let Jake see that before I knew anything about the Cullens or Edward or heartache, I'd idolized and wanted him _first_.  It was impossible not to feel aroused after recounting so many vivid memories and I was pleased to see that Jake was panting too.  His eyes stayed locked on me as he circled me, rubbing his muzzle against my fur and sniffing me everywhere.

I phased back to my human form, letting him see my aroused state before walking over to the nearest tree.  Wrapping my arms around the trunk, I pushed my bare ass out to him.  Jake whined and approached me again.  The puffs of his moist breath washed over me and I groaned when I felt his long, wet tongue lap at my already too-hot skin.  It was dangerous to be around him like this, but I trusted him like my own family, and in some ways, more.  
   
Moments later I heard the crunch of leaves and Jake's howl-turned-wail as he phased.  He was on me in an instant, his hair tickling my skin when he leaned in and bit the juncture of my neck and shoulder.  His hands were everywhere, stroking my arms and back before sucking on his fingers and parting my cheeks.  It was rough and it hurt, but I savored the pain as he stretched me.  I didn't want him to have any doubts that I wanted this and pushed my ass back towards him.  He stopped only to spit in his hand and slick his cock and then he slid into me slowly.

In my admittedly limited self-experimentation, I'd never felt anything like the burn and the heat and the overwhelming sense of being filled by another person.  Jake pressed forcefully against my back, pulling my hair aside and calming me as his hot breath dampened my neck.  I clung to the tree trunk as the bark bit into my skin and tiny drops of blood joined to run down my arms.  I welcomed the pain and sunk my teeth into my lip to stop myself from crying out.  It was just what I wanted, what I thought we both needed, a purely physical way to escape our anguish.  Once I got used to the feeling of his cock in me, I pushed back against him, willing him to move and give me something to focus on other than my broken heart.

But it was no use.

Jake thrust into me roughly, again and again, but I ached to feel Edward's cool flesh inside me instead.  When I reached down between my legs to grip myself, I wished more than anything it was a cold, solid fist surrounding my erection instead of my own.  When Jake came with an anguished cry, yanking my hair back and biting through the flesh of my shoulder, I agonized over the warmth of his lips, desperate to feel the icy ones I knew I'd never taste.  And when I came moments later, it was Edward's name I was silently screaming, never more grateful that the mental connection between the pack was only present when we were in wolf form.

I couldn't blame Jake for not being able to help me, or I him.  After all, I was the one who stupidly thought we could fuck away the anger and emptiness we both felt.  Jake rested his hand on my shoulder and pulled out of me with a choked sob.  When he tried to turn me around, I shook my head and shrugged his hand away, not wanting him to see the tears running down my face.  Jake understood, even without pack telepathy, that I needed him to go.

Without a word, he phased and took off up the coast at top speed.  I phased almost immediately after, catching his single, lingering thought as he sped further away from me.  
 _  
Bella...Bella...Bella._..

Collapsing against the tree, I licked my wounds and cleaned the filth from my body as I let my own agony consume me.  Hours passed and night fell, and all the while I whimpered when I wanted to cry and howled when I felt the need to scream.  I thought about Jake and how I had screwed things up, naively thinking that begging him to fuck me would somehow make us feel better. In my foolish effort to give us both an escape, I'd just ended up causing more pain.  I had no doubt Jake and I would get past it, eventually, but I was still ashamed.

I started to wonder if I'd ever see Edward again, but quickly pushed the thought aside.  It didn't matter either way.  He loved Bella.  They were married and soon she’d be a vampire too.  They would be together long after I was gone. Things between the pack and the Cullens were going to be tense after Edward changed Bella, and I wouldn't let my lovesick thoughts become a distraction.  The guys would all think it was hormones or a stupid crush anyway. 

But it wasn’t. 

I loved Edward, even though I knew he would never love me.  I just had no choice but to try to clear my head and bury my feelings for him.

Heaving my exhausted body from the ground, I did the only thing I could think of that made me feel free.

I ran.


End file.
